It is 1972, I was 19 years old and my life was about to change dramatically. Kent was in town from hitchhiking across the country. It was Sunday and I was getting ready to see Robin and then set out to work at Charley’s Brother. Dad was not around. Mom called all three of her young adult sons into the den and informed us she had something serious to talk about. I immediately thought about the grandparents. Instead she said that Dad had come home the night before and asked for a divorce. He was drunk again, and she couldn’t take it anymore, so she said “okay.” One of us asked about Lisa. Mom said she and Dad would talk to her together privately, but that they wanted us to know first. She explained that they would legally separate and Dad would live in the house until they could sell it. Then they would go separate ways and live apart. One of us asked why, and she said Dad didn’t give a reason. But, she said, she couldn’t live with an alcoholic anymore and admitted to seriously contemplating suicide several times. She said something about her going to Al-Anon, a recovery group for spouses of alcoholics, and suggested we go to Al-Ateen for children of addicted adults. Finally Mom mentioned that she and Lisa would probably visit her parents in Kansas to clear their minds and figure out how they’re going to survive. I recall being stunned by the news and felt like it was bad dream. Why would Dad do that? Why would Mom say “okay?” Sell the house? How is Lisa going to take this? What am I going to do? I called up Robin and sped to her house. I remember crying and telling her that my future — our future, has been destroyed. To her credit, Robin stayed calm and supportive. She said that if I had no place to go she was sure her parents would take me in. I lamented that I’d have to get a full-time job like my brothers and quit college. She said no, we’ll have to find a way. Besides, your Mom and your sister need you around and will need your support even more as the house is sold and there will be no man around to help. I’d argue, “that’s why I need a full-time job, I don’t even have my own car. My parents are in financial trouble and Mom hasn’t worked her whole married life. She has no degree, no skills, no experience. She, Lisa, and I will be poor and destitute.” Robin assured me everything will be okay. That week, a realtor visited the house to put it on the market and Dad moved into Kent’s bedroom. I tried to stay away from the house as much as I could. Mom and eleven-year-old Lisa flew off to Kansas to “vacation” and think about plans for the future. While they were gone, Robin and I painted Lisa’s bedroom bright orange and yellow and even created a mural with a happy sun on it. When they returned about a month later Mom had a plan in place. She would start dating as soon as possible, buy a new mobile home and car from the proceeds off the house, and go back to school while working full-time to support all three of us while I was going to college. The grandparents said they would give me money for college, although I would have to keep a part-time job to put gas in the car and go out on dates with Robin. Eventually we sold the house. My drum set and the player piano were sold. We packed up the house and moved to a brand new mobile home park in Morrisville, Pennsylvania where she bought a brand new single mobile home with a tip out for $12,000. It had three small bedrooms and a bath. It also had a shed in the back. Dad asked the woman he had an affair with, our neighbor Mrs. O’Donnell to marry him, and she turned him down. He found a condominium at Village 2 in New Hope and started dating a thrice divorced old friend, Liza Johnson, my parents’ neighbor from Newton, Massachusetts. They were compatible because she didn’t care if he got drunk – she was an alcoholic herself. Mom did as she planned: got a full-time job at Educational Testing Service (the SAT people), took bookkeeping classes at the community college, and started to date men. Unfortunately, most of these men were carbon copies of the worst part of Dad: alcoholic, self-involved, and cocky. I tried to do what I could to help out. I signed up Lisa for school and took her there for her first day at Fallsington Elementary. Robin and I helped decorate the mobile home, hung curtains, and landscaped the property. I also mowed the lawn, took out the trash, and watched over Lisa as best I could. Until she bought her new Volkswagen, I drove Mom to work every day. Brad got out of the house and moved to New Brunswick. Kent moved to California where he resides to this day.

I said at the beginning of this blog that I learned more from adversity and turmoil than I ever learned in peace and harmony. From this moment on, I would learn a lot about myself, and a lot about what it takes to survive in this world without money, advantage, or a safety net. As I approached my 20th birthday, life was going to get real not only for me, but for my family. I had a new role to play in a game I didn’t know the rules to.  I was just thankful to have the support of my girlfriend, my immediate family, my generous grandparents, and Robin’s family. Without them I would have been lost and destitute. With them, there was hope and a prospect for a better future, a better life. I was lucky after all.