When I was a Freshman in high school, I was disappointed that almost all the girls in my class were hit on by the boys in the older classes. After Kathy, my first part-time girlfriend was Rachel. She was my same age and extremely smart and ran around with that crowd in the halls, barely noticing I existed in school, but when we saw each other at the canteens we would be together all night, slow dancing and kissing. On Monday again, I would be a persona non grata. Needless to say this confused the hell out of me, but it just reinforced my sense that girls were from outer space, never to be understood. But by the time I was a Sophomore I delighted in checking out the new 9th grade girls coming in. That’s when I decided it was a good idea to take some pride in my looks. I watched Brad and saw how he used his personality to gain the attention of girls. I checked out how girls reacted to certain things in class and at lunch. Later I dated a girl name Joan. She did not possess the mental horsepower the other girls had, but she built up my ego, which felt particularly good at that time in my life. Personality-wise we did not mesh well. She had no interest in any of the things I was interested in, so the relationship just died, and we moved on. There were several flirtations with other girls that lasted a day, or a week, but nothing that truly caught on. When walking along the halls, you witnessed all kinds of relationships come and go, the basketball star and the cheerleader, the hood and the minister’s daughter. Certain people had charisma. Like a moth to a flame, people gravitated to them. Others were like wallpaper. No one notices them until they can’t climb the rope at gym class. That’s when I first realized something that has stayed with me my whole life: We all live complicated lives. What we see of people when we pass is fleeting. It is a snapshot in time. Inside their brains are frustrations, stresses, thoughts, desires, plans, and insecurities. They all have relationships with relatives, friends, pets, enemies, and competitors. This is dancing in every brain of every human being on earth. It’s this thinking that keeps me from being prejudice and from seeing girls as just objects. As human beings, they too live complicated lives. And I don’t have the smarts to understand it all, including the time Rachel ignored me in the halls, but was so passionate at the dance. I’d like to ask her someday, but unfortunately one year after she graduated early from high school, she was murdered by her boyfriend. Throughout high school I continued to watch and study my classmate’s behavior. There was one girl I noticed that was one of those people who attracted a gaggle of people around her. Always laughing and smiling. Friendly, nice, and cute. But alas she had a boyfriend, in fact a guy I used to hang around with in the early years. Joel and I used to race each other in the playground, competed for spots in the barber shop quartet, and both worked as artists for the yearbook. He was also a varsity wrestler. Who is that girl? Why am I intrigued with her?